Starting something new is hard. Starting something new with someone you've only known since August, doubly hard. Starting soething new with someone you've only known since August that you care about immensely, astronomically, terrifyingly hard.
I, like every person who thinks they have something to say, am starting a podcast: Queerdos. The idea came to me in a fever of queer energy pre-Clexacon, but exploded during the event. Personally, I've never felt particularly connected to myself or any sort of culture, until I came out. People, I like them all, especially if they're terrible for me (I am working on this). Dating women makes sense, but do I currently have the biggest crush on someone who is trans enby? Modern sexuality terms don't work for me, and I'm sure the same goes for so many others. That's why I want to talk about it.
But, I don't want to disregard how difficult being queer is currently and historically. I'm extremely privileged to live in Los Angeles, where being straight is abnormal depending on which district you're in. Talking and learning about where traditions and queer heroes have come from while also putting myself in a public position to be someone's first introduction to a queer person, feels like a match made in heaven. For some, the unknown is terrifying, and I'm more than ready to be a known queer.
Coordinating a creative project between two people with ADHD who don't live in the same city has not be easy so far. Harry/Marci, my genderfluid co-host, works a job with a schedule, and I freelance, barely scraping by each month. We also decided to start working on this a month before Harry/Marci gets married. Terrible planning, but the enthusiasm is there (both for their wedding and for this podcast - I'm so happy for them).
On this, my irregularly updated personal blog, I'll sometimes talk about the behind the scenes with this new project. Frustrations, excitements, highs, lows - I can't predict how I'll feel, but I know, I'll be pretty weird and definitely queer.
- Em